Hard to believe that another year is nearly under our belts! This is the last show for this year, so let's have at it! Terra submitted a question over the DrClaudia.net's "Ask Me" button about her husband and the way he "amps up" during the holiday season. He appears to get overwhelmed in groups of people when there is more noise and stimulation than he can handle. Terra questions "what" is going to happen when they have kids and he can't cope. She asked, "What's going on with him?" I had 4 directions for her to explore with him. He may be experiencing: 1. Sensory processing disorders 2. Adult Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder 3. High-functioning autism 4. Generalized anxiety disorder or social anxiety disorder So many of his "symptoms" overlap between the diagnoses. Anxiety is part of #1, #2, and #3. Sensory sensitivities occur within the course of #2, #3 and #4. She needs to review the following resources and then, sit down with him and guide the conversation so that they drill down to one or two and then, get a comprehensive evaluation to determine if he has a diagnosable condition. It's important to start this process now because if treatment is indicated, he'll need time to "redefine" himself in light of a diagnosis and to practice positive coping skills. Life just isn't going to get any easier! 1. Auditory sensory processing disorders 2. Here's a self-test for adult sensory issues 3. Too Fast, Too Bright, Too Loud, Too Tight by Sharon Heller 4. 10 Adult ADHD Symptoms 5. 14 Adults ADHD Signs and Symptoms 6. Adult ADHD 7. What to do if you think you might be on the autism spectrum as an adult 8. Anxiety disorders I chose these resources because they are accurate, but not overwhelming in the amount of psychobabble that could make them confusing. Serena called in about the abusive relationship she has with her former husband. He calls her names and is uncooperative in co-parenting their 16-year old daughter.
When I asked, Serena indicated that she initiated the divorce because he was abusive. They've been divorced for about 5 years. I told her that this was a losing battle. He's either narcissistic or sociopathic (these diagnoses overlap) and that she wasn't going to make any meaningful changes in him. He's a bully. Because she divorced him, he may still be reeling from the "narcissistic wound". He lost control of her, but still holding onto her and "beating her" so to speak. She's still tethered to him because of their daughter. My primary concern is for their daughter. Father has verbally abused daughter in much of the same way he has abused Serena and daughter is lacking in confidence and self-esteem as a result of continual abuse. I did not recommend that either of them confront father about his behavior because it will likely "reward" him. He'll take any attention he can get from them and if he is able to terrorize them one more time, that's too reinforcing to be positive. I mentioned that daughter needs therapy to keep her from being drawn into abusive relationships in the future. One of the reasons that women move from abusive fathers to abusive men and then from one abusive man to another is the "at-home" feeling. Basically, it's the only kind of relationship they've known and it "feels familiar", believe it or not. Although some states have laws where children of varying ages can seek out therapy without parental consent, her daughter going to therapy now may create another crisis. He's unlikely to approve of therapy because he wants the family's secrets of abuse to stay hidden. If mother initiates therapy for daughter without his knowledge or consent, father could accuse her of parental alienation. Mother may want to seek out therapy for herself in order to learn more about father's issues in order to neutralize the confrontations. The therapist will be able to give mother guidelines as to how to safely access support for her daughter. The therapist should be knowledgeable about the laws in their state. Also, the therapist may invite daughter into mother's sessions to address mutual concerns regarding father's conduct or to address the issues in their relationship as a result of mother being unable to control his abuse. Through mother's counseling, the therapist may discern that father is too dangerous to provoke at this point. Something has to change here. Change will not happen by itself. Mother needs to get into therapy to help herself and her daughter. Claudia Join me on Facebook at Dr. Claudia McCulloch. At DrClaudia.net, click on the "Ask Me" button and send me a question. Sign up for the Sunday newsletter. Don't miss a thing! Some of my students have such crippling learning disabilities that the hope of getting and keeping a C average is nearly impossible even with special education and other support. If they don’t have a C average, they can’t play sports.
Sports are oftentimes the only way my students can meaningfully participate in school. It’s their only source of self-worth and belonging. On the football field, Ryan can get the respect he doesn’t earn in the classroom. As part of the team, he learns self-discipline, team work, following directions and accepts instruction and mentoring from his coaches. When football is taken away, what else does he have? This void in his life leaves him depressed, anxious and hopeless. There’s nothing he can do to change the situation and his helplessness makes him vulnerable to unhealthy influences. Request a waiver to allow Ryan to still be a part of the team. If he’s working as hard as he can and behaving, he’ll stand a good chance of getting the waiver. Claudia Join me on Facebook at Dr. Claudia McCulloch. At DrClaudia.net, click on the "Ask Me" button and send me a question. Sign up for the Sunday newsletter. Don't miss a thing! Since 1950, the onset of puberty for girls has dropped by at least a year.
There’s an entire generation of girls who are sexually maturing as early as 8 years old. Why is this happening? Obesity, toxins and stress are to blame. The number of obese kids has tripled over the last 30 years. An overweight girl’s body signals that she can support a pregnancy and hormones clear the way for babies. Toxins that mimic estrogen spark breast development even before menstruation starts and triggers overall sexual maturity. Stress activates hormone responses to danger which tells the body to hurry up and reproduce because you might not get the chance. Kids who have poor relationships with their parents and girls who grow up without fathers start puberty early putting them at risk for parenthood and a loss of opportunity. Watch for signs of puberty in your kids and help them learn to cope. Claudia Join me on Facebook at Dr. Claudia McCulloch. At DrClaudia.net, click on the "Ask Me" button and send me a question. Sign up for the Sunday newsletter. Don't miss a thing! Ask what, you say? Anything that's on your mind. That one nagging question that keeps popping up in your mind day after day...that's the one to ask.
Call me, Dr. Claudia McCulloch, during the LIVE Facebook "peek-in" of our radio show, All Things Family today. We're at 833-400-5050. If you'd like, go to DrClaudia.net and send me a question using the "Ask Me" button. You can be anonymous, if you don't want to be known, or use a different name! When? Today from 4-6 pm Central Time. That's 2-5 Pacific and 5-7 Eastern. See? Easy peasy. No tickets to buy or anything. Can't make it? Listen to the podcasts that are on DrClaudia.net that are posted after the show airs during the weekend. Make it easy on yourself. Get everything delivered to your digital door if you "like" my Facebook page or sign up for the daily short posts and Parenting Pointers. The Sunday newsletter is a great way to get it all! Claudia |
Categories
All
RADIO FEATURE
SEARCH BLOGLooking for a Topic? search below (example: "talking to my kids")
Archives
June 2021
|