Romantic love is fairly new in our evolution. Previously, relationships were all about survival. We didn't have the luxury of focusing on our feelings. We married the local boy/girl to seal alliances. There has always been an element of "improving our lot in life" through marriage. Like all bright lights, Eros burns out relatively quickly, and evolves into a more enduring and satisfying emotional foundation for the long haul...ideally.
People with healthy self-love develop positive coping skills and do not fear failure. They are resilient and open to experiences.
Philia is the "friendship love". It arises out of a sense of goodwill. The philosopher Aristotle believed that there are three reasons for having goodwill for another: the person is useful, pleasant and good.
Have fun. TTFN, Claudia