Sounds as though it's been a long haul for the family. Anyway, he's missed a lot of school, experienced violent, terrifying events, has had periods of homelessness, you can't even imagine.
We reviewed some issues with reducing his anxiety and PTSD and she asked about his education. Since school will be over soon, they've decided to keep him out. Good move.
I recommended that he be retained in the 5th grade if that's his current placement. I also suggested that she go to his assigned elementary school and speak with the principal, explaining his lack of education and that he's living with them because mother is ill...mostly the truth.
Here are the articles I recommended to her about getting him evaluated and bringing an educational therapist on board ASAP to teach him both achievement (reading, writing and math) as well as learning skills.
Making a referral for special education evaluations and services.
The differences between private and school-based assessments.
Finding a certified educational therapist.
Grandma needs to contact the social worker about potential therapists to work with him on his unique issues and for financial resources to help offset the costs.
I also recommended that they not speak negatively of his mother and not to mention visiting her until he brings it up.
Parents, however, need to visit their daughter. They need to make positive comments about his adjustment, but don't go overboard. She may feel threatened that they'll sue for permanent custody. The future is unknowable. We don't know if prison will turn her around or bring her down completely.
Hopefully, by the time she gets out of prison, her son will be old enough to have a voice in the choice of his living arrangements.
As life goes on, grandson needs to be made aware of the inheritability of substance abuse so that he can make healthy decisions about "engaging".
Nope...MIL is right. If he doesn't stop sucking his thumb now, he'll likely change the shape of his jaws and the roof of his mouth causing HUGE problems in speech, language and academics. We frequently produce sounds on paper the way we hear them in our minds. Whoops! And can we talk about braces? Could be in for years of orthodontia to not only straighten his teeth, but change the shape of his jaws.
I gave her some hints on how to stand this habit down and recommended that she sees a pediatric occupational therapist or speech and language therapist for support if her interventions don't work.
Occupational therapists near you
Speech and language therapists near you
Here's a blog post that I wrote for a station in northern California. I do a call-in segment for them every week. I outlined a lot of details here to support you!
So funny. I get my pictures for these posts from a site called Pixabay. They do great work. When I keyed in "mothers-in-law" to get a photo, up came a collection of cactus. I'm not one for succulents, so I did a bit of research. Ha! There's a cactus known as the Mother-In-Law cushion. Is that mean?
In a sense, yes, she is addicted. It's like that she suffers from Body Dysmorphic Disorder which is a dangerous mental health diagnosis.
Surgery has a positive impact on about 2% of those suffering from it. Surgeons frequently interview those seeking plastic surgery to see if they can detect BDD or if the patient has realistic expectations for the outcome or if they suggest that a "better nose will make me happy".
Just a note. Jennifer Gray, who starred opposite Patrick Swayze in Dirty Dancing, had a nose job after her success in this role and her career tanked. Several celebrities and prominent people have embraced their facial characteristics and thrived. I'm thinking Cher and Barbara Streisand. I'm wondering if one of the reasons they didn't get nose jobs was because changing their noses might have a negative impact on their voices. Hmmm.
Mya, the K-9 resource officer at an Arkansas school had her picture featured right between two teachers in the yearbook. So stinkin' cute!
On a note-so-delightful note, but still stinkin' cute, are the therapy dogs that come to school with some Marjory Stoneman Douglas students in Parkland, Florida. Here they are! One is wearing a bow-tie! I can't stand it. I'm having an attack of "cute aggression"!
Good luck out there and I'll see you next week on the radio.
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