Wanna watch? Check it out. It's about 13 minutes long. You seriously need to watch this Ted Talk.
Some days, it's "us" against "them". You need every tool you can get your hands on to make the best use of your "teachable moments".
TTFN, Claudia
One of the toughest jobs as a parent is when you have to determine if your child is telling the truth or are lying. How effective is your "truth meter"? I love Dr. Lee's explanation especially since he gives real life experience couched in neuro- and social science. It's not as geeky as that statement makes it sound!
Wanna watch? Check it out. It's about 13 minutes long. You seriously need to watch this Ted Talk. Some days, it's "us" against "them". You need every tool you can get your hands on to make the best use of your "teachable moments". TTFN, Claudia
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https://29acres.org/Dr. Clay Heighten and Dr. Debra Caudy are parents of an adult with autism and are creating a community for those on the spectrum that will provide a wide array of services and opportunities for growth not offered in many other settings. Both have been practicing physicians and are parents to 4 children, so their credentials, if you will, are significant. From my 42 years working with children, I have always, always said that it's best not to rely on state or federal government to create programs for our children. Families, banding together, design the most effective programs because we live with our children, we pay attention to their needs over the course of their lifetimes and we know best.
Check out 29 Acres and learn more about their program. It might end up being the prototype for many such community-based settings! Keep up the good work! Check this out. Quite the variety for many needs. 100% silicone so it can be used for both hot and cold foods. At www.ezpzfun.com, you can check out all of their products. They can be purchased at amazon.com or at stores such as Bed, Bath and Beyond.
My goal is to "control the controllable" and if you can control the spills, it's one less thing to cause tension. Let me know how it works out! TTFN, Claudia I felt a bit of a jolt. No concern. The jet was being nudged back from the gate. I thought, "In about 20 minutes or so, we'll be about 5 miles high zooming along at about 600 miles an hour, but everything starts from stop". First there is nothing. Then, there is an idea, followed by a small action and then, the momentum begins. Human flight was once an idea and now, I am sitting in this chair, flying through the sky. Here's the New Year...again. The chance for hopes, dreams and goals to be awakened. And then, of course, there is the drunken debauchery and the ball falling on the spindle in Times Square. It doesn't take long for the disappointment of the New Year to set in, but it doesn't have to be this way. I wager that we all have something we want to change about ourselves. If we change ourselves, we will change how others respond to us. In turn, a cascade of amazing change begins...it starts from stop. It's not a secret. Just as I say to the parents who come into my practice..."Tell me the top three things that your child does that creates chaos in you and the family." Now, pick the one thing that is the least healthy and will lead your child down the path where you don't want him/her to go". Finally, let's identify just one way to reduce this misery index. Think about how the chaos starts and how you respond. You change how you respond and your response will change how he acts. Ewwweeee! Sneaky!
Be honest about the three things you'd like to change about yourself. Which one is the least healthy? Then, study yourself. What are the thoughts that lead you to make excuses/reason for not making progress toward your goal? Does it start at the market? Do you pick up the bag of cookies mindlessly just because they are the ones you buy? The ones you've been trained and have trained yourself to buy? Go ahead, buy them. When you get home, dump half of them out. Store the rest and eat one at a time. Take small bites to give your brain a chance to "taste it". Less guilt, more progress. You'll feel less deprived and angry. Or, if you pass by the bag of cookies, then buy a small candy bar at the check out. Teeny tiny steps. You know that fat and sugar is addictive, especially if you are under stress. Start your own rehab program. You can train your brain not to crave them. Master the cookies, move onto the next goal which might be more movement instead of less food. Goals are not achieved, in part, because they are too ambitiious and set you up for failure, disappointment and hopelessness. The first step in problem solving is paying attention and identifying the problem. The answers are less important than the questions. Ask yourself the painful questions. Now that you know, take the first step toward a healthier life. Emotionally healthier, socially healthier, physically healthier and spiritually healthier. You'll be more satisfied. We're not looking for happiness here. That's not the goal. Satisfaction is the goal. Ready, set, start... TTFN, Claudia On 10/27/16, I posted about the American Academy of Pediatrics latest guidelines on "safe sleeping" practices. They appeared to omit critical information and I went on a rant about their carelessness, specifically about some of the unclear and dangerous recommendations as well as to the lack of providing clear reasons for them. They've updated their guidelines and now, I'm less concerned. I felt that one of the recommendations was cruel and may have given a false sense of security because the content overly emphasized the importance of "room sharing" or having your child in a "separate sleep space" in the role of reducing Sudden Infant Death. The separate sleep space is key to reducing "laying aside" deaths where parents accidentally suffocate their children by rolling over on them. Safe sleep practices also includes not swaddling your baby, putting your child on its back in a cooler room without blankets and "fluffy" bedding that might suffocate them. But, there are other issues. I felt that the emphasis was cruel because parents of babies who died from SIDS would hold themselves accountable when, in reality, brainstem abnormalities, in conjunction with other subtle problems, were likely responsible for the babies' deaths. These abnormalities have been found in the autopsies of many babies for whom suffocation from laying aside or the interference of bedding was not an issue. When the goal is to "control the controllable", certainly controlling where and how your baby sleeps gives you an advantage. These issues are "extrinsic" or are controllable. However, as I said in the October article, if your child is male, African-American, is less than 4 months old, has a mild viral infection or a brain stem abnormality, these factors are not controllable and are considered to be "intrinsic". Baby monitors, heart monitors and emergency medical support cannot save babies with brainstem problems who die of SIDS. Increasing our anxiety is the fact that brain stem abnormalities and mild viral infections are not detectable. Parents who use alcohol or illegal drugs also place their infants at greater risk of the biologically-based SIDS (not the safe-sleeping/suffocation) variety. Marijuana and cigarette smoke is unhealthy for fetus and baby. While this may seem to be a controllable issue, I've read research suggesting that mother abstain from illegal drugs and those medications known to cause problems for fetuses for at least 3 years before conception. Reasonable? Unreasonable? Not for me to say. The American Academic of Pediatrics has made a number of recommendations that reflect the concept of "kangaroo care" or "skin-to-skin care" used for pre-term babies. A great deal has been learned about the benefits of "kangaroo care" from years of studying these practices. At least one hour of skin-to-skin contact under a garment immediately after birth helps baby to maintain physiological warmth and improves "psychological warmth" and bonding because baby essentially "rents" parents' bodily warmth. Bodily warmth regulates baby's temperature more smoothly than an incubator and allows baby to easily nurse. It also reduces baby's crying. Baby is more comfortable, so mother sleeps more soundly which may have an effect on reducing the incidence of postpartum depression. Mother's milk supply is increased and baby's gut health and immunity is improved. Kangaroo position means that baby is upright on parents' (or surrogates') chest with a clear airway (head upright and not flopping over). Kangaroo nutrition implies only breastfeeding if baby has a competent suck response. I had a fit about the recommendation from the female author of the article which read: "If you are feeding your baby and think that there's even the slightest possibility and you may fall asleep, feed your baby on your bed, rather than a sofa or cushioned chair". Remember that discussion about "laying aside"/suffocation deaths? Yep, this is it. The updated recommendation reads: "Co-sleeping is not recommended, but parents are strongly encouraged to place their child in a crib or Pack 'n Play close to their bed". The AAP says that babies should be given the scheduled immunizations and that "recent' evidence suggests that vaccination may have a protective effect against SIDS". This is your call. Some parents have intense concerns about vaccinations. The AAP still did not offer an explanation about the cooler room but perhaps it is related to the brainstem issue. The need to reduce smoke exposure during pregnancy and after birth is obvious as is tummy time. While they did not offer an explanation regarding giving a baby a pacifier at naptime and bedtime, sucking intensely is likely to stimulate brainstem activity and improve breathing. I was pleased to see more "explanation" about certain issues and the emphatic rejection of co-sleeping. So there, my rant is over.
Above all, learn as much as you can and use common sense. If in doubt, ask other mothers you respect and your pediatrician. As I said previously, so much of life is a "roll of the dice". Just do the best you can, Claudia |
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