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MY BROTHER'S GOING TO COLLEGE

11/30/2017

He sat in front of me as he worked through the reading test and suddenly, looked up with tears in his eyes and said, “My brother is going away to college and I’m gonna really miss him”. His mother asked, “What can I do to help him? His big brother is everything to him”.

Since you can’t change the fact that big brother is going away, you can help Jeff.

Keep their connection going with frequent Skype or Face time during the adjustment period.
Get a month-long whiteboard to schedule visits and the big events in brother’s college life so that Jeff can talk to him about them when he calls.
Knowing when big brother is coming home will also help Jeff to manage his stress. Let Jeff have his feelings. Reflect his feelings with phrases such as “It’s hard right now because we miss him so much. I’m so glad he gets to go to college. He worked really hard to get there".

Don’t minimize his distress or try to talk him out of it. Jeff’s expressions are part of the process of accepting the inevitable. He’ll adjust. There's only so much you can control in life.

Claudia

Join me on Facebook at Dr. Claudia McCulloch

At drclaudia.net, click on the "Ask Me" button and submit a question.

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THE UNIQUE NEEDS OF CHRONICALLY ILL KIDS

11/29/2017

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About 15-18% of US children have chronic health conditions including asthma which is the most common, diabetes, cancer, epilepsy, and heart problems.

These children have social and academic needs that are complicated by the medical conditions.

They are frequently absent from school for doctor’s visits.
They may require treatment through the school day.
They may have issues related to stamina, attention, cognition and anxiety.

Legally, they’re entitled to accommodations and support services that allow them to stay with their class and participate as meaningfully as possible. Their classmates are likely to have questions if the condition or treatment causes changes in appearance or behavior.

Arrange for a brief classroom presentation about the issues and answer their questions. Parents of classmates may have to approve or may even want to attend to have enough information to answer their own kids' continuing questions. The kids may ask if cancer is contagious. Give your child a “script” to respond to questions as he moves through the school year. Keep teachers and school administration informed.

Claudia

Join me on Facebook at Dr. Claudia McCulloch

At drclaudia.net, click on the "Ask me" button to submit a question.

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YOU MARRY THE GENE POOL

11/28/2017

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You’ve decided, she’s the one for you and he, well, he’s the man of your dreams.

Look beyond them because you are not only marrying them, you are marrying the gene pool and it can be a critical factor if children are in your future.

Research indicates that intelligence travels on the X chromosome which is the only one offered by females. It accounts for half of the intellect for girls, but all of it for boys.

Males who are sociopaths, whether the “good” or “evil” variety, pass this trait along to their children.

Autism, Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder, dyslexia, schizophrenia, mental retardation, depression and anxiety can be inherited or make a child vulnerable to the development of these life-long disorders.

Alcoholism, even in aunts, uncles and grandparents, can increase the risk of ADHD and substance abuse.

While you have completely fallen in love, use your head and check out the risk.

Claudia

Join me on Facebook at Dr. Claudia McCulloch

At drclaudia.net, click on the "Ask Me" button to submit a question.

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EW!! DUDE, YOU STINK!

11/27/2017

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One of the most charming phone calls I’ve ever received was from a mom who called for “just a little bit of advice”.

Apparently, she couldn’t get her “stinky” 12-year old boy into the shower. “Can’t he smell himself?”

I advised, “Don’t say a thing and let the pack take care of him.” “What pack?” I said, “One of his classmates, probably a girl, will announce loudly, ‘Ew, dude, you stink!’ and then, you’ll call me because you can’t get him out of the shower!” I asked her to call back “when it happened”.

Three weeks later, she called and told me that her son has an “obsessive interest in hygiene. He spends so much time in the shower it’s a problem”.

I told her his behavior would “even out” soon and someone should take him shopping for body washes, shampoo and perhaps a body spray. “Take it seriously”, I explained, “The sense of smell is so important that it is directly wired into the brain and doesn’t go through the sensory processing system. Take time to get it right.

I love my job, Claudia

Join me on Facebook at Dr. Claudia McCulloch

At drclaudia.net,, click on the "Ask Me" button to submit a question.

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THE DR. CLAUDIA SHOW-SHOW NOTES FROM 11-26-17

11/26/2017

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As promised, here are the references I made on today's show...

Men Behaving Badly

I talked about an article where many of the specific violations of the "key figures" in the sexual misconduct scandals are listed in a convenient chart. Some of the examples might be a guide for you to explain to your sons and daughters the types of situations they may encounter in life.

Just as with explaining to your young children about "stranger danger", you cannot anticipate every situation where they will know exactly what to do, so hitting the basics as frequently as possible is important.

It also might be helpful to give some sense of the lofty positions these men held/hold and how much they make.

Make sure they understand, as much as possible, that in the digital age, no one can hide.

Teach them about developing trust in relationships and the number of times that trust will be challenged.
Teach them that if there's even so much of a flash of "I don't think this is a good idea" or "Should I be doing this?", they should stop. Just stop. They can't live with the consequences.
Teach them that if they hear their inner voice trying to talk themselves into something or someone, "STOP"! Step back, talk to someone who is both their age and older about developing judgment so they can learn "for the long haul".
Teach them about the "dangerous" people. The young women who falls in love too quickly and becomes possessive. The young man who is "take charge" from the start. At the restaurant, he orders her food, is dominant with wait staff and focuses the conversation on himself. He's likely to become abusive.
Teach them what you know.

Here's the article:

After Weinstein: A List of Men Accused of Sexual Misconduct and the Fallout for Each

Online Personality Tests

I got one of these last night on my Facebook newsfeed. It asked me to choose a duo of people from a grid of 4 pictures. It taunted me with "Find out what you need to know about yourself". Oh sure.

We get these "tests" daily. What does a color, number, flower, favorite food say about you??? Go to 16personalities.com to take a version of the Myers-Briggs Personality Inventory. A mother and daughter team first published it in 1943, but the mother, Katharine Briggs began studying personality types in 1917. Isabel Briggs Myers, the daughter, joined her and significantly expanded the research base.

I first took the test when I attended the University of Florida where incoming students were asked to complete it to learn more about themselves. The U of F is the repository of the research!

It's free, but it takes a bit of time. You have to think about yourself. Be honest to get the most accurate results.

How Does Anxiety Feel In Your Body?

I touched on the role of anxiety in response to a question that came through the "Ask Me" button on drclaudia.net. Reference this article to share "how" I explained it to many kids in my practice.

See you next Sunday!

Claudia

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MY BROTHER'S GOING TO COLLEGE

THE UNIQUE NEEDS OF CHRONICALLY ILL KIDS

YOU MARRY THE GENE POOL

EW!! DUDE, YOU STINK!

THE DR. CLAUDIA SHOW-SHOW NOTES FROM 11-26-17

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