Since you can’t change the fact that big brother is going away, you can help Jeff.
- Keep their connection going with frequent Skype or Face time during the adjustment period.
- Get a month-long whiteboard to schedule visits and the big events in brother’s college life so that Jeff can talk to him about them when he calls.
- Knowing when big brother is coming home will also help Jeff to manage his stress. Let Jeff have his feelings. Reflect his feelings with phrases such as “It’s hard right now because we miss him so much. I’m so glad he gets to go to college. He worked really hard to get there".
Don’t minimize his distress or try to talk him out of it. Jeff’s expressions are part of the process of accepting the inevitable. He’ll adjust. There's only so much you can control in life.
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