When it's back-to-school time for entering middle schoolers, it's a whole new ball game. This is the big leagues now, kids. In talking about this on our regular Thursday chat on The Ranch, 99.1 FM, we hit some of the highlights of the special challenges of middle school.
First, let's talk about the basics. It's a much bigger campus and there are anywhere from 600-850 kids on a middle school campus versus the 450-600 in an elementary school. The size varies significantly from state to state For example, the average middle school in Florida has over 1000 kids. 1000 kids!
First, let's talk about the basics. It's a much bigger campus and there are anywhere from 600-850 kids on a middle school campus versus the 450-600 in an elementary school. The size varies significantly from state to state For example, the average middle school in Florida has over 1000 kids. 1000 kids!
Second, there's tremendous variation in size, maturity, and social-emotional competence in the middle school setting. The 8th graders are heading to high school and are, for the most part, "light years" ahead of the 6th graders who are just now leaving elementary school.
The 6th graders, formerly the "big fish in their little ponds" are now feeling inferior and crises of confidence can erupt. Their fears become exaggerated and their coping skills may fail them. At this time, parents, you cannot tell them, "You'll be fine". It's important to accept their feelings of angst and give them options for how they plan to cope with these new challenges. Give them "scripts" for responses and practice/role play frequently depending on the level of anxiety they're feeling. Provide support only to the level they are willing to accept. Don't overdo it just because you are anxious.
The 6th graders, formerly the "big fish in their little ponds" are now feeling inferior and crises of confidence can erupt. Their fears become exaggerated and their coping skills may fail them. At this time, parents, you cannot tell them, "You'll be fine". It's important to accept their feelings of angst and give them options for how they plan to cope with these new challenges. Give them "scripts" for responses and practice/role play frequently depending on the level of anxiety they're feeling. Provide support only to the level they are willing to accept. Don't overdo it just because you are anxious.
Many middle schools offer "bonding" and "orientation" experiences in the form of pool parties, sleepovers in the gym, or a "game day" because bringing kids together from several elementary schools goes more smoothly if they have a chance to meet before the academic pressure starts. Your student may not want to go. Do whatever it takes to get them there even if you allow them to call you in 10 minutes to pick them up. They're experiencing anticipatory anxiety and giving them an "escape" will help them to stay longer and enjoy it more. This is what I mean by "options".
Before school starts, visit the campus so that your child has an intimate look at the setting. Make arrangements with the principal for a 15-minute visit and promise not to engage any of the teachers or go into the classrooms. This kind of visit is very helpful for those kids with anxiety about getting to the bathroom on time.
Third, middle school poses its own special anxiety because this is the first time that students will have to cope with 6 different teachers who are teaching their own subjects and there is homework for each subject. It's a lot to take in. Each teacher has their own personality, teaching style, demands, tolerances, expectations and frustrations.
Speaking of which, teachers are incredibly, incredibly over-worked. They have 100-120 kids. Yes, 100-120 kids. If your child has an Individualized Education Program plan (IEP) or Section 504 Accommodations, don't assume that the teacher knows anything about it. Records coming from elementary schools are frequently late and chances are, your kids' actual teachers did not attend the transition meeting. Make a Fast Facts sheet and let them know a little bit about your student.
Your child may have special needs that do not rise to the level of a diagnosis or the need for special education services. If there is an illness in the family, teachers need to know. If there have been extraordinary situations such as death, divorce, moving, a family member deploying, a pet dying, or a parent returning to the work force due to financial demands or anything you qualify as "teachers need to know", then, create a Fast Fact sheet. Make it easier for teachers to help you help your child.
Speaking of which, teachers are incredibly, incredibly over-worked. They have 100-120 kids. Yes, 100-120 kids. If your child has an Individualized Education Program plan (IEP) or Section 504 Accommodations, don't assume that the teacher knows anything about it. Records coming from elementary schools are frequently late and chances are, your kids' actual teachers did not attend the transition meeting. Make a Fast Facts sheet and let them know a little bit about your student.
Your child may have special needs that do not rise to the level of a diagnosis or the need for special education services. If there is an illness in the family, teachers need to know. If there have been extraordinary situations such as death, divorce, moving, a family member deploying, a pet dying, or a parent returning to the work force due to financial demands or anything you qualify as "teachers need to know", then, create a Fast Fact sheet. Make it easier for teachers to help you help your child.
Fourth, unless your child has remarkable math competence, avoid taking accelerated math classes or math classes during summer school at least for the 6th grade. Math is not like a period of history or literature where a period can be plucked off the shelf and studied. Math is like a staircase where each step has to be mastered before moving onto the next one.
Accelerated and summer school classes move at a very fast speed and do not allow students to practice the concepts to a level of automaticity (meaning quick recall and solid competence). It's critical that students have multiple opportunities to both learn and practice the concepts and algorithms before moving onto more advanced concepts. If it's right for your student, then go for it, but approach with caution.
Accelerated and summer school classes move at a very fast speed and do not allow students to practice the concepts to a level of automaticity (meaning quick recall and solid competence). It's critical that students have multiple opportunities to both learn and practice the concepts and algorithms before moving onto more advanced concepts. If it's right for your student, then go for it, but approach with caution.
Fifth, parents, make sure you know how to access the online grading and assignments systems offered by your district. You can keep track of assignments and your student's performance so that you can get help "sooner rather than later".
Once kids fall behind in middle school, it is extremely difficult to make up the grades because the overall pace of "production" (the amount of work that is produced), is quick, to say the least.. My metaphor is gaining weight and going into debt. It happens oh so easily, but losing weight and getting out of debt require commitment, discipline and persistence.
Once kids fall behind in middle school, it is extremely difficult to make up the grades because the overall pace of "production" (the amount of work that is produced), is quick, to say the least.. My metaphor is gaining weight and going into debt. It happens oh so easily, but losing weight and getting out of debt require commitment, discipline and persistence.
Lastly, give yourself permission to email teachers at the first sign of difficulties. They really want to help, but they have to know that you're a team with them. Avoid blaming them, losing your patience and getting frustrated. Know the system. Talk to the counselor, get a meeting, submit a written request to have your child evaluated and access community resources such as tutoring at the library or privately.
I wrote extensive blog posts on the special education referral and the special education assessment. Educate yourself about the process and do your best to get the help your child needs.
As always, just do the best you can.
Claudia
I wrote extensive blog posts on the special education referral and the special education assessment. Educate yourself about the process and do your best to get the help your child needs.
As always, just do the best you can.
Claudia
