If this is not something that has happened to you, take steps to do what you can to prevent it. Have regular "financial meetings" with your partner to make certain shared goals are, indeed, shared.
If your partner is spending money in ways you haven't agree on, it's time to "re-set" the financial part of your relationship. Financial infidelity can be as damaging as other types of infidelity, but it's special feature, of impacting your financial security and future, makes it a "big ticket" item .
Clues as to financial infidelity?
1. You get the feeling that "something is not quite right" with your family's money.
2. Cash might be missing.
3, You receive a notice that your name has been taken off the credit card or banking accounts.
4. Your partner's "financial behavior" has changed. They're expressing concern for the financial future, resist and/or become very emotional when the topic comes up, they've developed expensive habits such as gambling or going out to pricey restaurants or they guard the mail with their lives so that you don't see "evidence".
5. Is mail being redirected to their workplace?
What to do?
1. Have a calm and reasoned approach. Anger will get you nowhere. If the relationship is worth saving, problem-solving is the approach. If this revelation is the "last straw", perhaps a financial advisor is the best person to sort it out before other legal proceedings take place.
2. If you're in the relationship for the duration, be prepared to do a "forensic" accounting every month to make sure the "agreements" are kept. Perhaps the "spending" partner is acting out of emotional distress and may need counseling. Perhaps they have emotionally left the relationship and no longer share the financial goals.
3. Consider "free money" to spend without explanation for each partner. This kind of "allowance" can be healthy so that each one of you does not feel deprived. You know what happens when you're on a diet and feel deprived...you binge in response to the stress! Uh oh!!
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