There was 5-year old Martin, sitting with mom and dad at the restaurant. He was climbing out of his seat, throwing food, screaming, and crying. Parents kept talking to him…talking! They kept threatening and threatening, but nothing happened and Martin knew it. He completely owned his parents. Completely.
Parents were embarrassed, but that’s it. What do you with a child like Martin?
While his behavior might not be related to any serious problems, if it happens consistently, look into it. Have him evaluated.
Otherwise, these situations are caused by parents’ failure to plan. Yes, it’s your fault if you take a child to a restaurant, the movies or Disneyland without an escape plan. Take two cars.
When Martin loses it, escort him to the car until he regains his composure and you tell him the rules. Repeat as necessary and don’t be surprised if he falls asleep in the car. The timing of an outing can make or break the event. If he's overly tired, no fabulous parenting strategy is effective.
Make sure you are prepared with snacks, toys, or a stroller (so the kid can conk out or be "driven" somewhere so that you and everyone there can have a good time. This is especially important if the event is a family celebration at a restaurant. Don't ruin everyone else's good time because of your failure to prepare.
If you don't get Martin under control and establish that you are the adult and you are in charge, heaven help you during adolescence. Not healthy. Not healthy at all.
Claudia
Join me on Facebook at Dr. Claudia McCulloch
Parents were embarrassed, but that’s it. What do you with a child like Martin?
While his behavior might not be related to any serious problems, if it happens consistently, look into it. Have him evaluated.
Otherwise, these situations are caused by parents’ failure to plan. Yes, it’s your fault if you take a child to a restaurant, the movies or Disneyland without an escape plan. Take two cars.
When Martin loses it, escort him to the car until he regains his composure and you tell him the rules. Repeat as necessary and don’t be surprised if he falls asleep in the car. The timing of an outing can make or break the event. If he's overly tired, no fabulous parenting strategy is effective.
Make sure you are prepared with snacks, toys, or a stroller (so the kid can conk out or be "driven" somewhere so that you and everyone there can have a good time. This is especially important if the event is a family celebration at a restaurant. Don't ruin everyone else's good time because of your failure to prepare.
If you don't get Martin under control and establish that you are the adult and you are in charge, heaven help you during adolescence. Not healthy. Not healthy at all.
Claudia
Join me on Facebook at Dr. Claudia McCulloch
