In fact, we're all PUCs. We are People Under Construction and we'll never stop growing, learning and changing until we stop being aware of ourselves and our world.
As we grow, we develop more skills and we start to problem solve and make sense of things around us.
When we're toddlers, people give us a "wide berth" to make mistakes and act in ways that would be unacceptable when we're older.
If he was screaming and flailing on the floor of the cereal aisle in the grocery store, you'd look at the Mom with your best, "Been there" look and move on. If he was 42 instead of 2, we'd be anxious and move away, really far away from him.
His world is getting bigger. There are more people in it.
When we're toddlers, people give us a "wide berth" to make mistakes and act in ways that would be unacceptable when we're older.
If he was screaming and flailing on the floor of the cereal aisle in the grocery store, you'd look at the Mom with your best, "Been there" look and move on. If he was 42 instead of 2, we'd be anxious and move away, really far away from him.
His world is getting bigger. There are more people in it.
We grow from being focused on ourselves and being "within ourselves" to establishing relationships with others. Through these relationships, we learn more about ourselves and other people. We become more competent in our skills as we enter elementary school and begin our journey of academic learning along with personal and social learning.
Their world is getting bigger. They have more people in their world than before.
Their world is getting bigger. They have more people in their world than before.
Oh wow! It's on. He's learning how to use higher order reasoning skills to make inferences, draw conclusions, generalize skills from one situation or concept to another, synthesize information, think from the part to the whole and the whole to the parts, use memory, organize, plan, use time management effectively, and integrate what he has learned into what he needs to learn. A whole lotta shakin' going on.
He's playing on formal and informal teams and works together with others toward a common goal. He works cooperatively within his family, accepting responsibilities and learning from his family.
His world is getting bigger. A lot bigger. He has a lot more people in his world now. We can have some fairly "hard and fast" expectations of him. He's headed to middle school.
He's playing on formal and informal teams and works together with others toward a common goal. He works cooperatively within his family, accepting responsibilities and learning from his family.
His world is getting bigger. A lot bigger. He has a lot more people in his world now. We can have some fairly "hard and fast" expectations of him. He's headed to middle school.
At this age, the high school years, we often expect way too much. Just because they're bigger, that doesn't mean they're grown up. Just because they're smart, we mistake that intelligence for judgment. They can get themselves into a lot of trouble because of those judgment deficits. They are mobile, out of our sights, fertile and able to get their hands on a lot of "stuff" we know is unhealthy for them. Ugh.
We can have consistent expectations of them, but there's a lot of "back and forth". One day, they act rationally and responsibly and the next day, they're petulant, emotional and childish.
Just as when they were children, they're growing physically and their brains are on fire with the increased "connectivity" between the parts which can erupt, on any given day, in depression, anxiety, glee and overall, intense feelings.
Their worlds are much larger than when they were in middle school, but they're on the verge of being adults and their world is about to explode. Emotions are still intense, but are moderating. They're developing coping skills.
We can have consistent expectations of them, but there's a lot of "back and forth". One day, they act rationally and responsibly and the next day, they're petulant, emotional and childish.
Just as when they were children, they're growing physically and their brains are on fire with the increased "connectivity" between the parts which can erupt, on any given day, in depression, anxiety, glee and overall, intense feelings.
Their worlds are much larger than when they were in middle school, but they're on the verge of being adults and their world is about to explode. Emotions are still intense, but are moderating. They're developing coping skills.
In college, away from their families, living with strangers, engaging people from all over the world, taking care of their daily needs, it's a leap out into adulthood. I think of college as the "kindergarten of adulthood".
For most people, this is the time of life where their worlds are the largest, most diverse and gives them opportunity to continue to jump from one new event to another. It's the time when they can explore diverse experiences without "cost" to their spouses and children. They can think selfishly and become who they want to be.
It's an explosive time. But, they're still not fully formed and life-altering mistakes can still be made.
For most people, this is the time of life where their worlds are the largest, most diverse and gives them opportunity to continue to jump from one new event to another. It's the time when they can explore diverse experiences without "cost" to their spouses and children. They can think selfishly and become who they want to be.
It's an explosive time. But, they're still not fully formed and life-altering mistakes can still be made.
Adulthood is not the end of our development. We adults have documented developmental stages where our relationships change, our values change, our perceptions of time and emotions change. At some point, around the 7th decade (60s), we start to think about how much time we have left instead of how long we've lived. Our marital love evolves into more of companionship which holds deeper meaning and commitment.
We're still learning, but our world tends to be more predictable and frankly, smaller because of our responsibilities to work and family.
We're still learning, but our world tends to be more predictable and frankly, smaller because of our responsibilities to work and family.
When you encounter others, withhold judgment by using this concept of being a PUC. Others may not have the genetic endowments you have in terms of intelligence or experiences that would broaden their maturity and knowledge. Everyone has hidden struggles be it stress, trauma, learning disabilities and illness. Before you leap into your "final decision" about them, suspend your beliefs and wait a bit. See how they evolve.
Be mindful of your judgments. Are you making assumptions without evidence? Careful, you might be missing out on a great opportunity for a meaningful relationship if you rush it.
Hopefully, others will be aware that you're a PUC and still evolving. Hopefully, they'll give you a "wide berth".
TTFN, Claudia
Join me on Facebook at Dr. Claudia McCulloch
Be mindful of your judgments. Are you making assumptions without evidence? Careful, you might be missing out on a great opportunity for a meaningful relationship if you rush it.
Hopefully, others will be aware that you're a PUC and still evolving. Hopefully, they'll give you a "wide berth".
TTFN, Claudia
Join me on Facebook at Dr. Claudia McCulloch
