In the 1980’s there was a “Sharing is Caring” movement started by the Care Bears, remember those?
For years, we forced our kids to share their toys thinking that we’re teaching our kids to be gracious and generous.
Actually, we may not have been aware that sharing isn’t natural for most kids under the age of 5. Six is the age of reason and before then, kids can’t grasp the social complexities of sharing.
In order to share, two things must be understood: what the other person wants reflecting the self-other dynamic and that sharing is a form of borrowing in that it’s temporary and my toy will come back to me.
If kids don’t want to share, don’t force them. Let life teach them lessons they won’t forget. If they don’t share, neither will their friends.
Give kids a choice, put their favorite toys away when friends come over and be prepared to be uncomfortable when other parents pressure you. Sharing is caring only if you don’t traumatize your kids.
Claudia
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