When Greg moved from elementary to middle school, you shifted parenting gears. You went from directing his every move to backing off a bit to let him use the skills he developed in childhood.
The same kind of parenting transition happens in the late teens and early twenties when you become Greg’s mentor and not his parent. Greg’s in college and thinks he’s got it all dialed in. He’s had experiences and can’t tell you how much he’s grown. You don’t wanna know.
At this point, you can only mentor, but your approach has to be subtle. It’s all in the language.
Think about how you speak to your peers. Don’t tell Greg anything. Ask him to “consider” his options and the next steps that might “feel right” to him.
He’s no longer your kid; he’s an adult on the verge of the rest of his life. You want him to make healthy choices, so choose your words carefully. If you need practice, write Greg short notes, texts or emails he can go back to time and again.
Claudia
Join me on Facebook at Dr. Claudia McCulloch
At DrClaudia.net, click on the "Ask Me" button and send me a question.
The same kind of parenting transition happens in the late teens and early twenties when you become Greg’s mentor and not his parent. Greg’s in college and thinks he’s got it all dialed in. He’s had experiences and can’t tell you how much he’s grown. You don’t wanna know.
At this point, you can only mentor, but your approach has to be subtle. It’s all in the language.
Think about how you speak to your peers. Don’t tell Greg anything. Ask him to “consider” his options and the next steps that might “feel right” to him.
He’s no longer your kid; he’s an adult on the verge of the rest of his life. You want him to make healthy choices, so choose your words carefully. If you need practice, write Greg short notes, texts or emails he can go back to time and again.
Claudia
Join me on Facebook at Dr. Claudia McCulloch
At DrClaudia.net, click on the "Ask Me" button and send me a question.
