I wrote a blog post about homework a while back and offered some ideas for coping with it. It's tough no matter what grade your child is in and now, the Common Core curriculum is posing even greater challenges. Wow! I hear soo many complaints. The frustration for kids and parents increases the "misery index". Control the controllable.
Kids are incredibly overloaded and stressed and this stress is infectious. Go ahead, have a quiet family meal with homework hovering over you! I dare you.
A couple of points to remember may make life easier:
Kids, around the age of 10, are entering adolescence and it's their job to become independent...of you! Be mindful of approaching them. Avoid the word "help" as it makes them feel incompetent. Even if they don't know how to do the assignment, they're not going to confess. They're not as easy to "help". Make a plan before you get into the heavy homework periods that are quickly coming up.
A couple of points to remember may make life easier:
Kids, around the age of 10, are entering adolescence and it's their job to become independent...of you! Be mindful of approaching them. Avoid the word "help" as it makes them feel incompetent. Even if they don't know how to do the assignment, they're not going to confess. They're not as easy to "help". Make a plan before you get into the heavy homework periods that are quickly coming up.
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Negotiate when homework will be done and the healthy snack options that will support their brains while they work. This is not a plan to be set in stone. It's flexible. Just get a basic structure going. Some kids need to run around and blow off steam and some kids will try to convince you that they "only need a video game time", but this is likely to cause problems. They're better off watching television to unwind which does not have the social component that makes them want to continue playing the video games. Give them a "warning" when their break time is close to being over if that's part of the agreement or have a chime go off to alert them.
Protein snacks are best, but some sugar is also helpful as they won't feel as deprived. They're still doing schoolwork after working all day and frankly, it's not all that thrilling. Make it easy for them to make it across the finish line by setting up a basic reward system for them showing a genuine effort and a positive attitude. Negotiate when they'll get their reward. Some kids need it daily and others, at the end of the week. Yes, I know that school is the work of kids, but I'd choose a reward system over fighting any day.
Establish a cut-off time. Kids who don't get enough sleep, don't learn, so why bother with late night homework? If the homework period is too intense, reach out to the teacher and explain the incomplete assignment. If your child has learning difficulties, a Section 504 Plan to get accommodations such as extended homework time is helpful.
Protein snacks are best, but some sugar is also helpful as they won't feel as deprived. They're still doing schoolwork after working all day and frankly, it's not all that thrilling. Make it easy for them to make it across the finish line by setting up a basic reward system for them showing a genuine effort and a positive attitude. Negotiate when they'll get their reward. Some kids need it daily and others, at the end of the week. Yes, I know that school is the work of kids, but I'd choose a reward system over fighting any day.
Establish a cut-off time. Kids who don't get enough sleep, don't learn, so why bother with late night homework? If the homework period is too intense, reach out to the teacher and explain the incomplete assignment. If your child has learning difficulties, a Section 504 Plan to get accommodations such as extended homework time is helpful.
Having a friend over to do homework can accomplish two goals...a little socializing and a little work. Perfect.
Allow your child to work in several areas. English homework is on the bed, math is on the floor and history is on the desk. They can move from one to the other to increase dopamine flowing which is the source of motivation.
The adolescent brain is very hungry for stimulation. They may need music in their ears, but if they're on the computer, they're likely to get distracted. Set aside a specified time frame to use the computer for homework.
Allow your child to work in several areas. English homework is on the bed, math is on the floor and history is on the desk. They can move from one to the other to increase dopamine flowing which is the source of motivation.
The adolescent brain is very hungry for stimulation. They may need music in their ears, but if they're on the computer, they're likely to get distracted. Set aside a specified time frame to use the computer for homework.
This approach may work for you:
Organize the homework by estimating how long each task may take. The "hidden" goal is to help your child learn time management. Write the time they estimated on a post-it.
Have them decide which assignments are "easy peasy" that they can do alone.
Decide which tasks require "drive-by" assistance from you.
Decide which tasks need "close quarter" supervision.
This approach allows them to be as independent as possible and frees you up to take care of evening responsibilities or to help another kid.
Organize the homework by estimating how long each task may take. The "hidden" goal is to help your child learn time management. Write the time they estimated on a post-it.
Have them decide which assignments are "easy peasy" that they can do alone.
Decide which tasks require "drive-by" assistance from you.
Decide which tasks need "close quarter" supervision.
This approach allows them to be as independent as possible and frees you up to take care of evening responsibilities or to help another kid.
No matter how old your child is, they are working toward independence and don't want to be told what to do every second of their lives. Learn negotiating skills. If your kids see that you are working at it, they will, too. Promoting a team effort reduces conflict and that's a good thing.
Give them chances to develop a plan, refine it, make mistakes, get themselves jammed up and oftentimes, fall down. It's OK, "fall seven times, stand up eight".
Go get 'em....
Claudia
Give them chances to develop a plan, refine it, make mistakes, get themselves jammed up and oftentimes, fall down. It's OK, "fall seven times, stand up eight".
Go get 'em....
Claudia
