When they’re about ten years old, kids will start shutting you out.
Don’t take it personally. They think they know enough to fly a bit. This is good news. It means they’re developing in a healthy fashion.
They won’t answer direct questions, but you’ve gotta stay close.
How do you do that?
Rule 1, re-establish trust. You had that when they were small, but now, the rules have changed and so, must you. Bite your tongue, don’t violate their confidences and don’t impose your problems on them.
Rule 2, get into their world. Familiarize yourself with the latest pop culture. That way, if you have a concern, you can anchor it in those themes.
Rule 3, spend brief, but frequent periods of time with them. Make it fun. Say nothing judgmental.
Rule 4, observe yourself critically.
Go slowly, learn from your interactions and repair any missteps. Redefine yourself as the parent of an emerging adult. That should help. Good luck out there!
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