Fishermen throw out their line and then reel it back in. Negotiate with your teen for them to have more freedom and outline your expectations, especially those “zero tolerance” behaviors. Don’t over-preach.
Send them out into the world and see how well their judgment serves them. Reel them in and see how they did.
Make it safe for them to make mistakes. Don’t slam them for the minor stuff. Consequences just might help them remember the next time.
It’s funny with kids, if it doesn’t hurt, they don’t learn. They’re experiential human beings and pain is a great teacher. No, I’m not recommending you beat them, but assign them a noxious task or take something important away, if necessary. You know how to do it.
Follow up with, “Hey, I’ve got faith in you, kid. You’ll do better next time”.
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