On the show today, we talked about "making your bed for life" and part of the discussion was about training your kids early to do chores. The Flanders Family website has a great, realistic, chore chart, age-by-age starting at 2! Here's the link. Start early while they still enjoy spending time with you, regardless of what you're doing together!
We talked about the types of dyslexia and the conditions that are likely to cause it. If you suspect that your child is experiencing dyslexia, I recommended that you take 5 steps:
1. Have your child evaluated by a private, licensed clinician who is very experienced with evaluating children and teens for a variety of developmental, learning and behavioral disorders, especially dyslexia. The reason you need someone with a broad array of experience is to make sure the "why" behind the "what" is completely understood. You cannot waste time with a wrong diagnosis. The International Dyslexia Association may be able to help you identify a clinician in your area.
2. Fine motor problems are frequently seen in those with dyslexia. Sloppy letter formation, poor "line adherence" (the letters don't sit properly on the line), and poor spacing within words and in sentences are observed. You'll see, usually, large writing (large scale). They also don't write quickly because they have to stop and think about the shape of the letters and how to move their hands. Get an occupational therapy assessment with a private clinician.
3. Get a comprehensive language evaluation. Those with dyslexia are prone to language processing disorders and the assessment should include assessment for social pragmatics. Social pragmatics are the "non-verbal" aspects of communication such as eye contact, timing of responses, and "reciprocity" (the back-and-forth of exchanges). Those with the dysphonetic type of dyslexia have not mastered the sound-symbol associations and this comes under the heading of language.
4. Get an assessment through a Lindamood-Bell Learning Processes clinic. This evaluation will not only give you more information about your child's reading and writing competence, but your attorney (if you have/need one) will need the information about the cost of the treatment plan to in order to help fashion a settlement with the school district if you pursue them for a "Free and Appropriate Public Education" (FAPE).
5. Get an assistive technology assessment. This evaluation is a bit trickier and in order to find someone who can evaluate your child and make recommendations regarding devices and software to support their education, you may have to get a referral from your team (the psychologist who conducted the assessment, occupational therapist, speech and language therapist or Lindamood-Bell staff).
If this is not something that has happened to you, take steps to do what you can to prevent it. Have regular "financial meetings" with your partner to make certain shared goals are, indeed, shared.
If your partner is spending money in ways you haven't agree on, it's time to "re-set" the financial part of your relationship. Financial infidelity can be as damaging as other types of infidelity, but it's special feature, of impacting your financial security and future, makes it a "big ticket" item .
Clues as to financial infidelity?
1. You get the feeling that "something is not quite right" with your family's money.
2. Cash might be missing.
3, You receive a notice that your name has been taken off the credit card or banking accounts.
4. Your partner's "financial behavior" has changed. They're expressing concern for the financial future, resist and/or become very emotional when the topic comes up, they've developed expensive habits such as gambling or going out to pricey restaurants or they guard the mail with their lives so that you don't see "evidence".
5. Is mail being redirected to their workplace?
What to do?
1. Have a calm and reasoned approach. Anger will get you nowhere. If the relationship is worth saving, problem-solving is the approach. If this revelation is the "last straw", perhaps a financial advisor is the best person to sort it out before other legal proceedings take place.
2. If you're in the relationship for the duration, be prepared to do a "forensic" accounting every month to make sure the "agreements" are kept. Perhaps the "spending" partner is acting out of emotional distress and may need counseling. Perhaps they have emotionally left the relationship and no longer share the financial goals.
3. Consider "free money" to spend without explanation for each partner. This kind of "allowance" can be healthy so that each one of you does not feel deprived. You know what happens when you're on a diet and feel deprived...you binge in response to the stress! Uh oh!!
See you next Sunday,