With a wink and smile to broadcast that she knew the "jig was up", Momma felt as though the list was more of a ransom demand than a gift suggestion list. She was appalled at her daughter's entitlement and lack of gratitude. The 8-year old girl cut out pictures and detailed the specifications of the exact items she wanted.
Wowser! I gave her guidelines in terms of shifting parenting gears including sitting her little darling down and announcing the "new ways" of family life. You don't change your parenting course without explaining how things will be different to your kid.
You'll need to listen to the podcast to catch it all, but one of the ways is teaching her about "family behavior" and how to "work hard for the money"...(ha! There should be a song...)
Anyway, I directed Momma toward my blog post about allowance and how it's not just about the chores called "Money, Money, Money". Click on the blue font and you're there!
Good luck with this process, Momma. There will be a LOT of resistance, but keep at it. You don't want your girl to be an entitled little princess...life doesn't go well in those situations.
I offered some suggestions for the message to lovingly make its way to him.
I referenced some of the latest nonsense that goes on around engagements including the woman who came upon her engagement ring (was it really hers? hahahaa) in his nightstand and set about taking photos and posting them on the "ring-shaming" group on Facebook.
First, please tell me that this really isn't a thing?!? Second, if you do this to your fiance, you don't deserve him or her. Be grateful you are loved. If you're hung up on the ring, your relationship is conditional and that's a horrifyingly poor way to start out a lifelong relationship.
Dennis Brown II, a male model and former professional athlete, wanted to make sure his intended got the ring she wanted, so he chose six rings and presented them to her. He wanted it to be her decision.
The whole thing was quite the show. Here's the article to read all about it. He hired an event planner, stylist, florist, drapery designs and had a banner made!
Then, there was the disappointment of the British couple visiting New York. In Times Square, the groom-to-be got on bended knee and presented his love with her ring. He then dropped it into a utility grate! It was gone...forever.
New York City Police Department Special Ops retrieved the ring, but couldn't find the couple. The unhappy couple returned to England before the police could find it and find them.
The cops, in all of their resourcefulness, posted the video of the un/happy and tweeted and waited for a response.
Happy ending! She's wearing the ring as we speak!! Yippeeee!
Here's an article that I found that makes sense of this concept.
Also, you might know that I evaluated children, teens and young adults for 24+ years while in private practice as a psychologist, so I have a fairly good sense of whether or not a test, survey or questionnaire can give you worthwhile information.
With that said, of all of the "biological age" surveys I looked at, I liked this one the most, not because of the results, but because of the topics it covered, the number of questions and the fact that they made it easy to use with "drop down" menus of responses.
So, take the survey now. When you get your next physical, get a copy of the lab results. You may have to search online for the information about the specific tests and the meaning of the results, but spend a little time on yourself, will ya'?
Compare the information and see how well you're doing. Not happy with the results? Take small and consistent steps to change your behavior. Remember, it takes about 21 days to turn a new behavior into a habit.
Take small steps so that you're not discouraged. It took you a while to get into your current shape, it'll take a little time to change things.
Good luck. See you next weekend!
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