When it comes to development, the "big stuff" happens early in the process. The neural tube, which evolves into the brain and nervous system, happens during the first trimester. Many times, women don't know their pregnant until most of the neural tube is created. This is somewhat dangerous because if mother was not attempting to conceive or expect to conceive, she might be taking over-the-counter medications that are not approved for pregnancy. She might be drinking alcohol or using drugs which are certain to have a serious impact on the fetal brain.
By age 5, kids have a fairly stable and consistent sense of their self-esteem. Self-esteem is the degree to which you positively feel about yourself...your intelligence, your competence, how you compare to others and whether or not you have what it takes to get the job done.
Considering that personalities are formed by age 6, this means that the blueprint for your child's emotional future can be a "done deal" by first grade. Of course, experiences play a role in this formation, especially traumatic experiences and those that are highly positive. But all of it takes place against the backdrop of neurology.
Considering that personalities are formed by age 6, this means that the blueprint for your child's emotional future can be a "done deal" by first grade. Of course, experiences play a role in this formation, especially traumatic experiences and those that are highly positive. But all of it takes place against the backdrop of neurology.
Kids know when they're doing well and when they're not, so don't lie to them. Give them as much of the truth as they can handle. If you are sugary sweet and overly solicitous, you'll lose your credibility. That's a price you don't want to pay.
Avoid words such as "good" and "bad. Give them realistic feedback on the quality of their effort and performance. If they want to know how to improve, they'll ask you. Or, you give them an option to hear your input.
Two things you are looking for are positive attitude and genuine effort. Focusing on the effort and not the product/end result will help them to see that the process is really a blueprint for success in adulthood. These character traits will take them far in life.
Avoid words such as "good" and "bad. Give them realistic feedback on the quality of their effort and performance. If they want to know how to improve, they'll ask you. Or, you give them an option to hear your input.
Two things you are looking for are positive attitude and genuine effort. Focusing on the effort and not the product/end result will help them to see that the process is really a blueprint for success in adulthood. These character traits will take them far in life.
Along these same lines, kids need to know what you expect from them. Make sure your expectations are realistic and are based on the age of your child and their natural gifts.
What you really want is to develop those behaviors that will help them to optimize their gifts. Hard work, determination, commitment, discipline, ethics, integrity and being able to cope with frustration and disappointment. Very important to success in life is being able to hear and benefit from constructive criticism. They need to be able to "stay their own course" and make healthy decisions about their conduct, friends and choices in "sketchy" situations. They need to resist being duped into unethical conduct or behavior that is contrary to family values. Essentially, they need to be strong enough and committed enough to their values and use that commitment as a shield when they are being pressured.
What you really want is to develop those behaviors that will help them to optimize their gifts. Hard work, determination, commitment, discipline, ethics, integrity and being able to cope with frustration and disappointment. Very important to success in life is being able to hear and benefit from constructive criticism. They need to be able to "stay their own course" and make healthy decisions about their conduct, friends and choices in "sketchy" situations. They need to resist being duped into unethical conduct or behavior that is contrary to family values. Essentially, they need to be strong enough and committed enough to their values and use that commitment as a shield when they are being pressured.
Parents, you have a major role in this process. You can help them tap into their unique strengths. Think outside the box. Are they interested in computers? Check out UCode and give them an early start on developing their programming and coding skills. Interested in robotics? There are programs throughout the US to support these interests. Interested in marine biology, or politics or debate or business? Check out the Johns Hopkins Center for Talented Youth to find summer experiences to expand their dreams. They also connect with other kids who share their same passion. When life gets tough for them, these are the kids they'll rely on.
Your son or daughter no longer needs to be the prom queen or the quarterback to feel successful. The generations coming up are less competitive and more supportive of each other than ever before. We parents are doing something right. Kids are celebrating art, theater, musical ability and other talents that may have been seen as less acceptable in days gone by. Kids today are less judgmental and far more inclusive. There's hope for us yet.
Help your kids to find their competence. Experiencing authentic success is much more powerful than Mom and Dad telling them how wonderful they are...
Tune into the Ranch, 99.1 FM in Simi Valley, California, every Thursday morning at 8:20 a.m. to hear more of these discussions. We cover a lot in 5 minutes and you may be driving or reviewing spelling words in the car, so I write up a summary every week.
As always, just do the best you can,
TTFN, Claudia
Your son or daughter no longer needs to be the prom queen or the quarterback to feel successful. The generations coming up are less competitive and more supportive of each other than ever before. We parents are doing something right. Kids are celebrating art, theater, musical ability and other talents that may have been seen as less acceptable in days gone by. Kids today are less judgmental and far more inclusive. There's hope for us yet.
Help your kids to find their competence. Experiencing authentic success is much more powerful than Mom and Dad telling them how wonderful they are...
Tune into the Ranch, 99.1 FM in Simi Valley, California, every Thursday morning at 8:20 a.m. to hear more of these discussions. We cover a lot in 5 minutes and you may be driving or reviewing spelling words in the car, so I write up a summary every week.
As always, just do the best you can,
TTFN, Claudia
