On Thursday morning, May 12, The Ranch, 99.1 FM "ranch hands" and I talked about those "little-known" issues that must be addressed before your kids head off to college.
The most pressing issue in my mind at this time of year as kids begin the process of actually moving into college life by deciding which college to attend and settling into the details about how all of that "happens" is related to alcohol and drug use. If you haven't impressed your expectations and family values on your kids until now because you haven't really had to address it, get talking.
The most pressing issue in my mind at this time of year as kids begin the process of actually moving into college life by deciding which college to attend and settling into the details about how all of that "happens" is related to alcohol and drug use. If you haven't impressed your expectations and family values on your kids until now because you haven't really had to address it, get talking.
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Your student is likely to be so anxious/excited that they can't think straight, so several sit-down, look them in the face, rational/reasonable conversations about drinking and "using" are critical. Of course, you'll get the, "Oh, Dad. I'm not gonna do any of that. I haven't done it in high school". At which point, you'll say something like, "Yes, you've made healthy choices, but college is different. You'll be with a lot of different people who have different ideas and you won't have to walk through our door and deal with us. We want you to have all of the important information so you can continue to make healthy decisions." Notice the words "good" and "bad" weren't used and the tone is not "preachy" or threatening.
If your student has been "social" and you suspect drinking and maybe smoking weed has gone on, these conversations need to be more specific, more frequent and perhaps a signed contract is in order just to make sure everyone knows the consequences. For example, you will pull them out of school if they end up in the ER or have contact with university police over alcohol- or drug-related conduct (or misconduct, most likely). Here in California, if you are "disqualified" from a UC (University of California system versus the California State system), you cannot attend another UC school. The party is over.
It's at this point in my conversation with parents that they start seeing all of the money they'll lose if they have to bring their student home. It's their choice and a lot of variables go into that choice. The most valid variable here is history. Past, relevant behavior is the best predictor of future behavior. What has your student's behavioral history been and how will that history impact their behavioral choices in college? And, you know me, what question am I going to pose to parents? "Can you live with the consequences?"
It's at this point in my conversation with parents that they start seeing all of the money they'll lose if they have to bring their student home. It's their choice and a lot of variables go into that choice. The most valid variable here is history. Past, relevant behavior is the best predictor of future behavior. What has your student's behavioral history been and how will that history impact their behavioral choices in college? And, you know me, what question am I going to pose to parents? "Can you live with the consequences?"
If your student is taking medication of ANY kind, they need to have an appointment to speak with their prescribing physician to discuss possible interactions. They aren't likely to remember EVERYTHING the doctor has told them, so make sure the doctor knows just to hit the "highlights" to avoid an ugly interaction. Students need to know about the "half-life" of their medications so they'll have a sense of the levels if they're headed to a party.
If your daughter is taking an oral contraceptive, she needs to be aware that some herbal supplements, such as St. John's Wort, can reduce the effectiveness of the contraceptive by as much as 20%. Certain antibiotics, antidepressants and anti-seizure medications can also reduce the effectiveness of oral contraceptives. Clearly, this is a very important topic.
Make certain that your daughter knows about Plan B (the morning after pill) if a condom fails or she has had unprotected sex. You may not be happy with the discussion, but consider the consequences. None of it is pretty. Have the conversation. Give her tools to protect herself. These medications are likely to be free of charge. You can have all of the "conversations" later, but first things first.
Red Bull and other stimulant drinks have led to very nasty interactions with medications, drugs and alcohol.
DON'T BE THAT PARENT WHO THINKS THEIR DARLING CHILD IS NOT GOING TO GO TO COLLEGE WITHOUT HAVING THE FULL COLLEGE EXPERIENCE.
YOU CANNOT CANNOT LIVE WITH THE CONSEQUENCES.
There, I feel better now.
Make certain that your daughter knows about Plan B (the morning after pill) if a condom fails or she has had unprotected sex. You may not be happy with the discussion, but consider the consequences. None of it is pretty. Have the conversation. Give her tools to protect herself. These medications are likely to be free of charge. You can have all of the "conversations" later, but first things first.
Red Bull and other stimulant drinks have led to very nasty interactions with medications, drugs and alcohol.
DON'T BE THAT PARENT WHO THINKS THEIR DARLING CHILD IS NOT GOING TO GO TO COLLEGE WITHOUT HAVING THE FULL COLLEGE EXPERIENCE.
YOU CANNOT CANNOT LIVE WITH THE CONSEQUENCES.
There, I feel better now.
Pharmacists are an INCREDIBLE resource. They know EVERYTHING about medications and can answer your questions. If your student is at college and has a question about their meds, they can call the local pharmacy or go to the health center and their confidentiality is protected from parents' prying eyes. They can also call the ER of the local hospital. They need information in order to make confident decisions about their behavior. Give them every option to get all of the information they need even if you disapprove. Again, can you live with the consequences of an avoidable mistake related to their still-developing brains? Just let me answer this for you, "No, you cannot".
Your student who is taking medication needs to understand the consequences of skipping doses and doubling up on missed doses. Control the controllable and get the answers.
Your student who is taking medication needs to understand the consequences of skipping doses and doubling up on missed doses. Control the controllable and get the answers.
When you go for orientation, make sure your student understands the importance of keeping their meds secure. There's a whole lot of Adderall and other stimulants being sold on campus, especially at finals time. If someone steals it, your student may not be able to get, by law, replacement medications which could have a serious impact on their academic performance.
Now, on to less terrifying stuff. If your student has issues that require more privacy, they can have a private room (more $$$). They can also be placed on a quiet floor or in a quiet dorm. Many colleges now have such facilities. I have had several clients without diagnosable disorders who are very serious students and they don't want to deal with the shenanigans of immature freshmen. The policies may vary as to who is assigned to these special dorms/rooms and placement may require documentation. That brings us to the final subject.
If your student has had special education services and/or accommodations in the past or feels that s/he could benefit from them in college, many institutions require an evaluation that has been conducted within 3 years of the student attending the school. The AHEAD organization (Association of Higher Education and Disabilities) has provided guidelines, as do the individual schools themselves, for the required tests and the type of report that is required.
I have a list of about 23 accommodations from which I choose to match the data that is generated from the assessment. Some of my most frequently recommended accommodations include:
Since colleges are interested in retaining their students and since students are not a captive population, many have very highly-developed support programs and well-trained staff. Workshops in organizational skills, study techniques, improving writing skills and reading comprehension have proven to be beneficial to my clients. The staff can also help your student to advocate when encountering an unreasonable professor.
I encourage (OK, let's be honest, I pretty much threaten them) not to take too many classes, especially for the first year. There's just too much for them to adjust to and we want them to explore their interests and have time for social activities. I recommend that they take two "light" classes and two "serious" classes or whatever combination works to make them full-time students. Ask the staff at the learning center.
For many of my students, this is the first time in their entire educational career that they've had a chance to enjoy education and get off the "hamster wheel" of 6 classes a day and homework all night and weekends. They can become a little too relaxed with "all the time" they have and will soon learn their lessons after a few "scares". For many, they finally get to experience authentic success by earning "decent" grades without Mom and Dad helping.
I see college as the "kindergarten" to adulthood. They are out from under the scrutiny of parents, have to deal with a lot of very different people, have to learn to cope without the support of family and master advocating for themselves. There's so much more to learn in college than the curriculum. They are preparing for a career and for the "hidden curriculum of life". Developing sound judgment through experiences is priceless.
Help them get the best start possible. I know you will. Remember, just do the best you can.
TTFN, Claudia
I have a list of about 23 accommodations from which I choose to match the data that is generated from the assessment. Some of my most frequently recommended accommodations include:
- Extra time on tests
- Taking tests in the learning center
- Priority registration to accommodate extra time on tests (can't have classes back-to-back)
- Class notes
- Preferred seating
Since colleges are interested in retaining their students and since students are not a captive population, many have very highly-developed support programs and well-trained staff. Workshops in organizational skills, study techniques, improving writing skills and reading comprehension have proven to be beneficial to my clients. The staff can also help your student to advocate when encountering an unreasonable professor.
I encourage (OK, let's be honest, I pretty much threaten them) not to take too many classes, especially for the first year. There's just too much for them to adjust to and we want them to explore their interests and have time for social activities. I recommend that they take two "light" classes and two "serious" classes or whatever combination works to make them full-time students. Ask the staff at the learning center.
For many of my students, this is the first time in their entire educational career that they've had a chance to enjoy education and get off the "hamster wheel" of 6 classes a day and homework all night and weekends. They can become a little too relaxed with "all the time" they have and will soon learn their lessons after a few "scares". For many, they finally get to experience authentic success by earning "decent" grades without Mom and Dad helping.
I see college as the "kindergarten" to adulthood. They are out from under the scrutiny of parents, have to deal with a lot of very different people, have to learn to cope without the support of family and master advocating for themselves. There's so much more to learn in college than the curriculum. They are preparing for a career and for the "hidden curriculum of life". Developing sound judgment through experiences is priceless.
Help them get the best start possible. I know you will. Remember, just do the best you can.
TTFN, Claudia
